The Pruning Season

February 3, 2011
Based on Scripture reflection from John 15:2, "and every tree that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit."

Farmers know that pruning happens every year.  I saw a video on how to prune a vine & it had diagrams.  Some particular diagrams had fruit while others were completely empty, just lonely branches.  The vinedresser knows just because the vine doesn't have fruit at a certain time doesn't mean it's unfruitful.  It just means it's not the season of harvest.  My friend Laura wrote an email about this topic:

"Every season is not a harvest season.  There are plowing seasons, planting seasons, watering seasons, etc.  Without the other seasons we wouldn't really be prepared or fully matured.  It is during the plowing season (pruning) that God brings to light what needs to be dealt with."

Pruning is good & right.  Even though it may not look like anything worthy of fruit is happening-that is exactly what is going on. The vinedresser knows that pruning will make the branches able to produce more & even better fruit. 

 Humbled & joyful-being pruned should leave us in this state of mind of two seemingly opposites; knowing we can't do it all & we need God, but God loves us & is completely smitten by us & He wants my joy to be full John 15:11, "that your joy may be full."

The most healthy & beautiful fruit come from vines that have been pruned & tended to.  Pruning is like being humbled: no leaves, no fruit, empty, naked, torn, seemingly useless. But when we see that it's not us it's the vindresser, it's not the branches rather it's the vine, then we can rejoice & be happy with the pruning because we trust the vine, the vinedresser & the process of growing fruit. 

Joy in humility
How can we be happy when we are aware of our wretched putrid sin?  When we're truly humble, we see don't see us anymore, we see God.  And He is the reason for our joy because of who He is. Zephaniah 3:19 "God says, "I will save the lame... I will appoint them for praise & fame in every land where they were put to shame." I trust that fruit will grow because the vine dresser is cultivating me. Pruning makes us ever aware that it's not about the branches, but about the vinedresser. 

The knowledge of evil

July 23, 2011

I'm so hurt & broken by human suffering, by what our sins have done to us, by the vicious cycle of hiding.  We have all believed the lie that we have never been loved, the lie that was told to Adam & Eve.  Oh humanity what have we done? All of us have lost the innocence of knowing we are loved. Sure we have knowledge, like the enemy promised: knowledge of suffering, hurt, pain, devastation.

The knowledge that we lost, because we gained knowledge of evil, is that we are loved. But God restores this knowledge to us.

But we run to other humans to try to gain the knowledge that we are loved. Human love will never be enough for us.  We are broken cisterns that will run dry. 

We are all shadows. Everything here on earth is a shadow of the reality in Christ. My dad was never supposed to be the real thing.  The best my dad had to offer me is just a shadow of who God is, & I can look to the shadow to expect something greater. 

My dad couldn't give me what I needed-who could?  The truth I am coming to realize is the only one who could give me knowledge that I am loved is God.  God's essence is love.  From Him can we be loved.  He is the source. 

This happens by the cross.  The cross tells us we are loved & God absorbs the knowledge of evil.  God has cried all the tears of the world.  The hurt & brokenness I feel is a small magnitude of what God felt on the cross.  God put our tears in His bottle like the psalmist says & poured them out on the cross when He took our shame, our sin & everything that comes with sin.  All the repercussions: pain, sorrow, anxiety, heart break. 

What we feel, You've felt more. You've been feeling for all eternity, since You had the cross in mind before the foundations of the world.  What You have done to show Yourself fully intimate, fully close must far outweigh any hurt, pain, or devastation that You endured.  Your Father heart fully arrayed in love must be so worth it that all the suffering that ever happened, all the sin of the world combined can't even taint what You are going to show us.  For You had this all planned out.  And You counted the cost & in Your everlasting wisdom, You saw that the end would far outweigh the means. 

 The pain is worth the thunder

This strong intimate God

July 9, 2011

"God regulates the universe by the mighty power of His command." Hebrews 1:3

"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart." Psalm 34:18

God is so big.  Big enough to fill the needs of my heart.  I've been writing about brokenness, but I've come to realize that writing about it & accepting it are two different things.  It's so hard to embrace the brokenness & just sit in it, it's so painful. 

I guess God has allowed this breaking to show me I am in need.  I am so in need of You God.  You are so big, yet so close.  You regulate this universe, yet you break my heart so I can run to You.  You want me near.  You want to show me Your goodness, to whisper Your love. Your word is so strong that You uphold all things by it, yet Your words to me are so kind & romantic. 

I admit God that only You can be my dream.  My dream of a family, of a husband are found in You, oh God! I only want to dream of You, those dreams are real.  So God, use my broken heart to bring You glory.  Lord I return my heart to You, You are the only one that can fill my heart.  You are all I've got Lord. 

Lord, You are everything I've been looking for, all the movies, all the songs, all the sunsets, all the moments, all the longings are found in You. 

God meet me here...all along I was looking for You...I am looking for You...I'll always be looking for You.

"To have found You & still be looking for You
It's the soul's paradox of love
Ah You fill my cup, I lift it up for more
I won't stop now that I'm free
I'll be chasing You like You chased me" -newsboys