November 22, 2011
I'm listening to Christmas music at the library and I realize that it's been almost a month since my last update. I almost dread writing because there is so much to say and words do not suffice to describe all that is happening with me.
I'm going to miss spending Thanksgiving on Thursday with my family and with my friends on our traditional Friday Thanksgiving potluck. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Each student had to present about a name of God for 5 minutes. The goal is to practice for outreach and condense all we want to say. It's been really fun doing this & trying to come up with something deep & profound in just a couple of minutes. The last presentation this past Friday was very impactful to me; the Lion of the tribe of Judah. I wasted lots of time late Thursday night just getting lost on the subject of Jesus as the lion researching facts about lions and listening to their roar on The National Geographic website.
Something happened towards the end of my little speech that I can only define as the Spirit of the Lord touching me. As some of you may or may not know, I am a pretty emotional person, but it is kind of hard to cry in front of people. Oh, I'll cry at a movie in the dark but I try to avoid it in public.
But I was moved to tears by the thought that God used the tribe of Judah, the 5th born of the least favored wife of Jacob and the one who was the intercessor of his little brother. Jesus the humble king, who chose to come to us as a baby; weak, subtle, quiet, unexpected. This is Judah. I heard somewhere that Jesus did not come through the Levites as one would expect but through the tribe of Judah, good ol' Judah who is a lot like me; unnoticed, weak, a train wreck.
I was moved by Jesus humble ways, and the foreshadow of Jesus in Genesis 44 when Judah was willing to take his brother's place to be a slave, to take the blame, to carry all the weight of the consequence because He knew how much the Father loved his brother. And he loved his brother. He did it for his brother & for his Father.
I am very excited & nervous, in about ten days we will leave for our outreach to Malaysia & Thailand. Woot! Crazy! We will be working with kids mostly so it should be lots of fun but super busy. Please send out a prayer for us.
I've changed a lot since I came here. My views on a lot of things are different like the Holy Spirit & Reformed theology etc. I'd be happy to share but I think that is enough information for now.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
How about an update eh?!
October 25, 2011
I went back home for my friend Dana & Casey's wedding which was super fun & I got to see my family too which was really special for me!
This past week we were in Alberta, Canada, the next province over which is about a 14 hour drive from where we live. We went to a conference along with three other ywam schools from across Canada. It was called the "Go Conference" to make us aware of the unreached across the world like the countries in the 10/40 window. For more information about this conference or summaries of each day visit: http://www.ywamnexia.org/mobilizing/conferences.html
Today is day 44 since I've been here & I must say it's been awesome. And sometimes the awesome-ness is also very difficult & filled with self confrontation. I feel attacked many times in my sleep by bad dreams & also by my thoughts of distraction. I feel self conscious & battle lies I've believed for years.
I've noticed that I am afraid to ask God what He thinks or what is next. I'm afraid of God. Wow. Isn't that weird?! I'm afraid because I am so unclean, so ashamed of myself, of my humanity & I'm afraid to be rejected. But this is not God's heart towards me, towards us. He loves us. He has good news for me.
As you may or may not know, I love Jars of Clay & love singing God those songs. What is absolutely incredible is that when I do set out to ask God what He thinks of me & the mess I've made or what is His heart towards me, I find that He is singing those songs back to me. That is so touching. I am brought to tears! Such tender love.
Some of the things God says to me is
"I want to make you sing another love song. I want you to trust someone, me. Let me pick you up. Don't bury your head full of shame, you look like me!"
"I want to make you sing another love song. I want you to trust someone, me. Let me pick you up. Don't bury your head full of shame, you look like me!"
"No one loves you like me"
Ugh! Such good news. So though I beat myself up, God's love reaches to the heavens & His faithfulness to the skies. (psalm 36:5)
That is a good enough update for now. More to come, I'm sure!
Love, Linda
Saturday, October 1, 2011
For the world you love
October 1, 2011
God loves the world. The broken. The sick. The weary. The oppressed. Especially the oppressed.
Every Thursday we have intercession for the world. This week's topic was human trafficking. I was appalled, disturbed and just really really angry at what I found.
God is angry too.
I found out that human trafficking is going on all over the world. It is defined as selling people for forced labor or sexual exploitation. Most women who are prostitutes are kidnapped & forced into the industry from all parts of the world; they think they will work as a nanny or housekeeper in another country. Many of these women come from China, Korea, Eastern Europe, places like Moldova, & Ukrainian orphanages, yes the people who run the orphanages actual arrange for the orphan girls & boys to be sold.
The bottom line in all of this is that God cares about these people. There are people out there that are addicted to pornography & most of those women in those videos are trafficked. They are adding to human traffic injustice & they think that what they are doing is only affecting them.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
My Canada Experience So Far..
September 24, 2011
Well here I am at the library on our day off. It's been an amazing time so far, feels like I've been here forever but it's only week 3 wild!
I love not having a computer or a phone, makes me think I was made to be technology free.
There is so much to say about what's been going on, so much that I feel that I can't put into words or describe, you just gotta be here. But I'll try...
First of all, we have a schedule to follow each day, & it is a full one! Each day we have class for about four hours a day then in the afternoon for about three and a half hours we do things like community involvement, one on ones, outreach preparation & intercession, bible study, processing & review. Every afternoon the schedule changes so we don't do all those things in one day.
We also have work duties and my work duty along with two others is to prepare the meal each night Monday-Friday. Mom, you'd be so proud! It's great because the food & recipe is already prepared for us, all we have to do is put it all together, I've really enjoyed doing this. Cooking for twenty people each night, wow I didn't think I could do that.
So what am I learning so far? Well this week we had a guest speaker named Luba and she spoke about hearing the voice of God, I took like fourteen pages of notes, yikes!
But here's are some things that stood out to me:
Sometimes God's answer needs to come in a group setting.
Am I living for God's glory? If so, it doesn't matter how long it takes.
There are promises to those who fear God.
God cares about our healing & the world.
Hearing God is a process, the process of relationship.
God cherishes intimacy over activity.
Relationship is mostly intimacy & communication.
God can't be put in a box because He wants us continuously in relationship, asking.
God does not see us as damaged but as just what He wanted.
We also had a time of prayer with Luba & the staff where we each took turns confessing lies we've believed about God, ourselves or others & then they spoke over us truth & what God says. It was amazing!
I've had a chance to have some amazing conversations with people while we walked to the little Asian church we're renting, or while we're cooking, or just hanging out before we go to sleep. Throughout these convos I've noticed that we are struggling, we are each wanting desperately to hear God's voice on what to do, and how to be but it is hard. Which makes me think that there is a war going on, that what we are doing is primarily spiritual & the things that we are struggling with whether it's an insecurity, or an annoyance, or a distraction is spiritual & we must pray that God would help us & not let the enemy win.
So with all that said, what you could do after reading this is send up a prayer for us, the students, the speakers, the staff. God is definitely at work!
Love you guys!
Well here I am at the library on our day off. It's been an amazing time so far, feels like I've been here forever but it's only week 3 wild!
I love not having a computer or a phone, makes me think I was made to be technology free.
There is so much to say about what's been going on, so much that I feel that I can't put into words or describe, you just gotta be here. But I'll try...
First of all, we have a schedule to follow each day, & it is a full one! Each day we have class for about four hours a day then in the afternoon for about three and a half hours we do things like community involvement, one on ones, outreach preparation & intercession, bible study, processing & review. Every afternoon the schedule changes so we don't do all those things in one day.
We also have work duties and my work duty along with two others is to prepare the meal each night Monday-Friday. Mom, you'd be so proud! It's great because the food & recipe is already prepared for us, all we have to do is put it all together, I've really enjoyed doing this. Cooking for twenty people each night, wow I didn't think I could do that.
So what am I learning so far? Well this week we had a guest speaker named Luba and she spoke about hearing the voice of God, I took like fourteen pages of notes, yikes!
But here's are some things that stood out to me:
Sometimes God's answer needs to come in a group setting.
Am I living for God's glory? If so, it doesn't matter how long it takes.
There are promises to those who fear God.
God cares about our healing & the world.
Hearing God is a process, the process of relationship.
God cherishes intimacy over activity.
Relationship is mostly intimacy & communication.
God can't be put in a box because He wants us continuously in relationship, asking.
God does not see us as damaged but as just what He wanted.
We also had a time of prayer with Luba & the staff where we each took turns confessing lies we've believed about God, ourselves or others & then they spoke over us truth & what God says. It was amazing!
I've had a chance to have some amazing conversations with people while we walked to the little Asian church we're renting, or while we're cooking, or just hanging out before we go to sleep. Throughout these convos I've noticed that we are struggling, we are each wanting desperately to hear God's voice on what to do, and how to be but it is hard. Which makes me think that there is a war going on, that what we are doing is primarily spiritual & the things that we are struggling with whether it's an insecurity, or an annoyance, or a distraction is spiritual & we must pray that God would help us & not let the enemy win.
So with all that said, what you could do after reading this is send up a prayer for us, the students, the speakers, the staff. God is definitely at work!
Love you guys!
Monday, August 29, 2011
The Pruning Season
February 3, 2011
Based on Scripture reflection from John 15:2, "and every tree that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit."
Farmers know that pruning happens every year. I saw a video on how to prune a vine & it had diagrams. Some particular diagrams had fruit while others were completely empty, just lonely branches. The vinedresser knows just because the vine doesn't have fruit at a certain time doesn't mean it's unfruitful. It just means it's not the season of harvest. My friend Laura wrote an email about this topic:
"Every season is not a harvest season. There are plowing seasons, planting seasons, watering seasons, etc. Without the other seasons we wouldn't really be prepared or fully matured. It is during the plowing season (pruning) that God brings to light what needs to be dealt with."
Pruning is good & right. Even though it may not look like anything worthy of fruit is happening-that is exactly what is going on. The vinedresser knows that pruning will make the branches able to produce more & even better fruit.
Humbled & joyful-being pruned should leave us in this state of mind of two seemingly opposites; knowing we can't do it all & we need God, but God loves us & is completely smitten by us & He wants my joy to be full John 15:11, "that your joy may be full."
The most healthy & beautiful fruit come from vines that have been pruned & tended to. Pruning is like being humbled: no leaves, no fruit, empty, naked, torn, seemingly useless. But when we see that it's not us it's the vindresser, it's not the branches rather it's the vine, then we can rejoice & be happy with the pruning because we trust the vine, the vinedresser & the process of growing fruit.
Joy in humility
How can we be happy when we are aware of our wretched putrid sin? When we're truly humble, we see don't see us anymore, we see God. And He is the reason for our joy because of who He is. Zephaniah 3:19 "God says, "I will save the lame... I will appoint them for praise & fame in every land where they were put to shame." I trust that fruit will grow because the vine dresser is cultivating me. Pruning makes us ever aware that it's not about the branches, but about the vinedresser.
Based on Scripture reflection from John 15:2, "and every tree that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit."
Farmers know that pruning happens every year. I saw a video on how to prune a vine & it had diagrams. Some particular diagrams had fruit while others were completely empty, just lonely branches. The vinedresser knows just because the vine doesn't have fruit at a certain time doesn't mean it's unfruitful. It just means it's not the season of harvest. My friend Laura wrote an email about this topic:
"Every season is not a harvest season. There are plowing seasons, planting seasons, watering seasons, etc. Without the other seasons we wouldn't really be prepared or fully matured. It is during the plowing season (pruning) that God brings to light what needs to be dealt with."
Pruning is good & right. Even though it may not look like anything worthy of fruit is happening-that is exactly what is going on. The vinedresser knows that pruning will make the branches able to produce more & even better fruit.
Humbled & joyful-being pruned should leave us in this state of mind of two seemingly opposites; knowing we can't do it all & we need God, but God loves us & is completely smitten by us & He wants my joy to be full John 15:11, "that your joy may be full."
The most healthy & beautiful fruit come from vines that have been pruned & tended to. Pruning is like being humbled: no leaves, no fruit, empty, naked, torn, seemingly useless. But when we see that it's not us it's the vindresser, it's not the branches rather it's the vine, then we can rejoice & be happy with the pruning because we trust the vine, the vinedresser & the process of growing fruit.
Joy in humility
How can we be happy when we are aware of our wretched putrid sin? When we're truly humble, we see don't see us anymore, we see God. And He is the reason for our joy because of who He is. Zephaniah 3:19 "God says, "I will save the lame... I will appoint them for praise & fame in every land where they were put to shame." I trust that fruit will grow because the vine dresser is cultivating me. Pruning makes us ever aware that it's not about the branches, but about the vinedresser.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The knowledge of evil
July 23, 2011
I'm so hurt & broken by human suffering, by what our sins have done to us, by the vicious cycle of hiding. We have all believed the lie that we have never been loved, the lie that was told to Adam & Eve. Oh humanity what have we done? All of us have lost the innocence of knowing we are loved. Sure we have knowledge, like the enemy promised: knowledge of suffering, hurt, pain, devastation.
The knowledge that we lost, because we gained knowledge of evil, is that we are loved. But God restores this knowledge to us.
But we run to other humans to try to gain the knowledge that we are loved. Human love will never be enough for us. We are broken cisterns that will run dry.
We are all shadows. Everything here on earth is a shadow of the reality in Christ. My dad was never supposed to be the real thing. The best my dad had to offer me is just a shadow of who God is, & I can look to the shadow to expect something greater.
My dad couldn't give me what I needed-who could? The truth I am coming to realize is the only one who could give me knowledge that I am loved is God. God's essence is love. From Him can we be loved. He is the source.
This happens by the cross. The cross tells us we are loved & God absorbs the knowledge of evil. God has cried all the tears of the world. The hurt & brokenness I feel is a small magnitude of what God felt on the cross. God put our tears in His bottle like the psalmist says & poured them out on the cross when He took our shame, our sin & everything that comes with sin. All the repercussions: pain, sorrow, anxiety, heart break.
What we feel, You've felt more. You've been feeling for all eternity, since You had the cross in mind before the foundations of the world. What You have done to show Yourself fully intimate, fully close must far outweigh any hurt, pain, or devastation that You endured. Your Father heart fully arrayed in love must be so worth it that all the suffering that ever happened, all the sin of the world combined can't even taint what You are going to show us. For You had this all planned out. And You counted the cost & in Your everlasting wisdom, You saw that the end would far outweigh the means.
The pain is worth the thunder
I'm so hurt & broken by human suffering, by what our sins have done to us, by the vicious cycle of hiding. We have all believed the lie that we have never been loved, the lie that was told to Adam & Eve. Oh humanity what have we done? All of us have lost the innocence of knowing we are loved. Sure we have knowledge, like the enemy promised: knowledge of suffering, hurt, pain, devastation.
The knowledge that we lost, because we gained knowledge of evil, is that we are loved. But God restores this knowledge to us.
But we run to other humans to try to gain the knowledge that we are loved. Human love will never be enough for us. We are broken cisterns that will run dry.
We are all shadows. Everything here on earth is a shadow of the reality in Christ. My dad was never supposed to be the real thing. The best my dad had to offer me is just a shadow of who God is, & I can look to the shadow to expect something greater.
My dad couldn't give me what I needed-who could? The truth I am coming to realize is the only one who could give me knowledge that I am loved is God. God's essence is love. From Him can we be loved. He is the source.
This happens by the cross. The cross tells us we are loved & God absorbs the knowledge of evil. God has cried all the tears of the world. The hurt & brokenness I feel is a small magnitude of what God felt on the cross. God put our tears in His bottle like the psalmist says & poured them out on the cross when He took our shame, our sin & everything that comes with sin. All the repercussions: pain, sorrow, anxiety, heart break.
What we feel, You've felt more. You've been feeling for all eternity, since You had the cross in mind before the foundations of the world. What You have done to show Yourself fully intimate, fully close must far outweigh any hurt, pain, or devastation that You endured. Your Father heart fully arrayed in love must be so worth it that all the suffering that ever happened, all the sin of the world combined can't even taint what You are going to show us. For You had this all planned out. And You counted the cost & in Your everlasting wisdom, You saw that the end would far outweigh the means.
The pain is worth the thunder
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
This strong intimate God
July 9, 2011
"God regulates the universe by the mighty power of His command." Hebrews 1:3
"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart." Psalm 34:18
God is so big. Big enough to fill the needs of my heart. I've been writing about brokenness, but I've come to realize that writing about it & accepting it are two different things. It's so hard to embrace the brokenness & just sit in it, it's so painful.
I guess God has allowed this breaking to show me I am in need. I am so in need of You God. You are so big, yet so close. You regulate this universe, yet you break my heart so I can run to You. You want me near. You want to show me Your goodness, to whisper Your love. Your word is so strong that You uphold all things by it, yet Your words to me are so kind & romantic.
I admit God that only You can be my dream. My dream of a family, of a husband are found in You, oh God! I only want to dream of You, those dreams are real. So God, use my broken heart to bring You glory. Lord I return my heart to You, You are the only one that can fill my heart. You are all I've got Lord.
Lord, You are everything I've been looking for, all the movies, all the songs, all the sunsets, all the moments, all the longings are found in You.
God meet me here...all along I was looking for You...I am looking for You...I'll always be looking for You.
"To have found You & still be looking for You
It's the soul's paradox of love
Ah You fill my cup, I lift it up for more
I won't stop now that I'm free
I'll be chasing You like You chased me" -newsboys
"God regulates the universe by the mighty power of His command." Hebrews 1:3
"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart." Psalm 34:18
God is so big. Big enough to fill the needs of my heart. I've been writing about brokenness, but I've come to realize that writing about it & accepting it are two different things. It's so hard to embrace the brokenness & just sit in it, it's so painful.
I guess God has allowed this breaking to show me I am in need. I am so in need of You God. You are so big, yet so close. You regulate this universe, yet you break my heart so I can run to You. You want me near. You want to show me Your goodness, to whisper Your love. Your word is so strong that You uphold all things by it, yet Your words to me are so kind & romantic.
I admit God that only You can be my dream. My dream of a family, of a husband are found in You, oh God! I only want to dream of You, those dreams are real. So God, use my broken heart to bring You glory. Lord I return my heart to You, You are the only one that can fill my heart. You are all I've got Lord.
Lord, You are everything I've been looking for, all the movies, all the songs, all the sunsets, all the moments, all the longings are found in You.
God meet me here...all along I was looking for You...I am looking for You...I'll always be looking for You.
"To have found You & still be looking for You
It's the soul's paradox of love
Ah You fill my cup, I lift it up for more
I won't stop now that I'm free
I'll be chasing You like You chased me" -newsboys
Thursday, July 28, 2011
For all the Benjamins
“The beloved of the Lord shall rest securely & safely in Him, for He shields & shelters him all day long & the one the Lord loves shall dwell between His shoulders.” Deuteronomy 32: 12
This is a prophecy for Benjamin, you can read his story in Genesis 35:16-19.
All this has inspired the following post:
June 28, 2011
From the beginning, Benjamin had life hard. His birth gave way to his mother’s death. But, the way things started is not how things ended for good ol’ Benja. You see, his dad changed his name. Instead of being “a son of sorrow,” he became “a son of my right hand.” Instead of pain, his Father brought him close to a place of intimacy, favor, grace.
Isn’t that what we all want? We don’t want to be failures, disappointments. Because of Jesus, we have, all of us, become Benjamins.
Favored.
Brought close.
Invited inside; into the heart of our Father. Daddy promises us we are beloved, we will be safe, we will be close to Him.
We are resting between His shoulders. We beg, “Daddy pick me up! I wanna see!” And just like that, He comes in & swoops us off our feet placing us between His shoulders. With our arms around His neck, we can feel the rumble of His laughter as He shows us things we have never seen, heard or anticipated. Things so much better than our finest dreams. What we’ve been hoping for all our lives has come true.
But it’s not in the things He shows us that we are satisfied. No, it’s not where we are or what we are doing, but rather who we’re with. It’s our position with our Dad. It’s being with Him that we have our blessed longing fulfilled. We are content here with our Dad & it is enough.
Wayward Lamb
As I read "The Prophet" by Francine Rivers about Amos, the shepherd-prophet, something stood out to me that I learned just a couple of months ago & God has providentially reminded me of this very important concept. When we think God is against us, it is just then that He is lovingly caring & tending to us personally, like a shepherd with his wayward lamb.
"He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms & carries them close to His heart.." Isaiah 40: 11
"Prone to wander Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart Lord take & seal it. Seal it for thine courts above." -Hymn
"God's grace orders our suffering & in the midst of pain is there to sustain us." -JS
Here's the excerpt:
Coming to a rise, Amos spotted the lamb standing near some bushes. As he approached, he saw its wool had snagged in a thorn bush. One hard tug, and the lamb could have freed itself, but it was not in his nature to do so. Instead, the animal would stand still until rescue came-or a predator, eager to make a meal of him.
Amos stood grimly, considering what to do. Less than a week ago, he had been forced to kill the lamb's mother. He had known for months he might have to dispatch her, but held off doing so because she was perfectly proportioned with well-set, alert eyes & was one of the strongest sheep in his flock. But her stubborn habits had endangered the entire flock. Half a dozen times he had rescued her & her offspring. He had hoped to give the lambs more time to be fully weaned & on their own. Now, it seemed he had waited too long, for the lamb had learned his mother's bad habits.
"It's this or death, little one." Amos took a stone from his pouch, weighing it in his hand. To heavy and it would kill the lamb; too light & it would not serve to discipline him. Amos swung his sling & released the stone, striking the lamb in a front leg, just above the knee. With a startled bleat of pain, the lamb went down.
Tears burning, Amos went to the wounded lamb & knelt. "I am here, little one. I would rather wound you myself than see you come to greater harm." He knew after a gentle examination that the leg was broken, but not shattered. It would heal. "You belong with the flock, not out here on your own where death will find you." He worked quickly, binding the leg & tugging the lamb free of the brambles. "I know I hurt you, but better you suffer an injury that will heal than become dinner for a prowling lion." He ran his hand gently over the lamb's head. "You will learn to stay close to me where you're safe." He cupped the lamb's head & breathed into its face. "No struggling or you will cause yourself more pain." He gently lifted the lamb onto his shoulders & carried him back to the flock.
The goats grazed in the hot sun, but the sheep still rested in the shade, ruminating. Amos sat on a flat rock that gave him a full view of the pasture. Lifting the lamb from his shoulders, he held it close. "You will learn to trust me & not to think you can find better forage on your own. I will lead you to green pastures & still waters." He took a few grains of wheat from the scrip he wore at his waist & shared his food with the lamb. "Sometimes I must wound in order to protect." He smiled as the lamb ate from his hand. "You will get used to my voice & come when I call." He rubbed the notch in the lamb's ear. "You bear my mark, little one. You are mine. Let me take care of you."
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Why God always leaves you limping
July 12, 2011
A friend asked me to write on the Peniel blog. I said, "It won't be about fluffy-just-love-God stuff. Following God isn't always going to be Peniel. You won't always see His face, sometimes He hides, sometimes He's distant, sometimes He breaks your heart. What then? "
But Going back to the Genesis 32 story, I realize that following God will always in fact be Peniel. It is when God ruins all our plans, when everything is taken away from us, when relationships are torn, when life sucks, that God is most present. My favorite quote says "God is with us most when things just can't get worse." You see, Peniel happens right in the middle of our mess.
But we don't like messes. We like to clean everything up, put on our Sunday best & act like everything is ok. When we do that, we miss God. We miss his greatness because we are so focused on putting on a show for everyone, we miss His comfort because we pretend like we don't need it. It is when we are the weakest & admit to it & confess it that God comes to our rescue.
Jac did not go to camp for a weekend to get away from it all. He did not have some grand epiphany moment & walk on roses after his meeting with God. No, he was actually going to meet his dome, his brother who wanted to kill him. This was messy. The moment of Jac's greatest fear is the moment that God shows up & meets him face-to-face. So many times we come from high places at camp or missions, experiencing something truly amazing & we think that is the face of God, but the more I walk with God the more I am convinced that it is in the dryness, the low times, the times when we are desperate that God meets us. He is wrestling with us.
Of all the things God could of chose to do, He wrestles? Hmm..weird. What is God's purpose in having us wrestle Him? Maybe God wants to show us who He is. We see His strength & His power. If Jac never wrestled with God, he wouldn't have experienced His grip, his tight hold. Losing with God makes us strong, Jac left broken, limping, he left humbled yet joyful, God could of crushed him. Although it was never God's intent to destroy him, maybe God was showing Jac who He was & who Jac was.
It's been said that men bond by wrestling, maybe in some weird way God & Jac were getting closer by working it out. That God would want to struggle with us, what grace!
Philip Yancey writes:
"God does not give in easily. He seems to welcome the persistence that keeps on fighting long after the match has been decided. We are all children of God, all of us God-wrestlers who cling to God in the dark, who declare "I will not let you go." To us belong the blessing, the birthright, the Kingdom. As the touch on Jacob's socket proved, God could have ended the match any point during that long night in the desert. Instead the elusive figure lingered, as eager to be held as Jacob was to hold."
Now that is intimacy. After Jac's rendezvous, his fear vanishes & he's left with a sense of gratitude for God's mercy & goodness because He has a deeper sense of who God is. The God who meets us when it all goes wrong, when we have nothing left. The God that is so strong to destroy us in one instant, is the gracious God who instead has us experience Him & walk away limping.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Broken Hearts
June 5, 2008
My meditation on Psalm 51& Hosea 6:
My meditation on Psalm 51& Hosea 6:
God breaks us that we may come back to Him, by this breaking & humbling we are shown who we really are & who God really is.
Who God is: lovingly kind, full of tender mercies, just & blameless, generous
Who we are: transgressor, treacherous, sinner, evildoer, evil, robber, harlot, full of iniquity, dirty, guilty, murderer
What God wants is a heart fully dependant on Him. A heart that knows Him & seeks Him.
God wants the deepest part of us, our broken heart. But why? Why does my heart matter to God? Why does He make it so that my heart is broken? Why is a person with their heart broken running to God pleasing to Him?
Because: when you see who you really are, you're disgusted. No more lies, no more masks, this is vulnerability at its fullest. The stark contrast between you & God is so huge it makes you desperate.
God breaks us in order that we may be made in His image & clean us up. We need to be remade. When we've done all we could & we find ourselves still broken, still a mess, then we go to God & He'll take it. He can work with us now that we are mold-able & willing because now we have no choice, we have no where else to go.
A desire to be made clean not by ourselves but by God will restore us back-back to communion-back to intimacy with Him-back to where true joy is found in His presence. And there broken, frail, contrite, torn, we'll know the feeling of wholeness-completeness, newness, healing. In the place of contriteness, we serve God most.
Offer your brokenness
October 31, 2010
All we have to offer to God is a broken church, broken people, with issues, and tainted views of God & each other. When we come & give that to You God, You come & give us something more in exchange, something better than what we could of dreamed up.
God promises to meet up in our brokenness & restore to us the joy of His salvation (Isaiah 61 & Psalm 51).
The beautiful exchange-what God gives us when we offer our sin to Him. What God has to give us for our brokenness is better than what we can make in our pride.
The Broken
Brokenness is a good thing. A very good thing. Without realizing it, I've been learning this for years. I'm gonna share some quotes from songs, books, & devotionals.
I want to say to all: surrender to the breaking
"God breaks us, then heals us, then uses us." -me
"Delayed answers often set the heart searching itself & so lead to contrition & spiritual reformation: Deadly blows are then struck at our corruption, & the sinful images are cleansed. The great danger is that men should faint and miss the blessing." devotional
"When we behold His holiness, we see in that instant our unholiness. His glory reveals our ruin, His purity, our vanity, His light our shadows. God bursts forth in radiance, & we cry out for the rocks to fall on us. So before joy comes sorrow. Before cleanness comes shame. Before we can ever rest in the holiness of God, first we must become undone by it." -MB
"God's plan for our lives will never be fulfilled until we are broken." -ZP
"Only You can see the good in broken things You took my heart of stone & made it home" -BD
"He tears me down..He breaks me.." Job 19:10
"Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but He will heal us: He has injured us be He will bind up our wounds. God has wounded, & God will heal." Deut. 32:39
God says.. "in your misery you will earnestly seek me" Hosea 5:15
Brokenness
I love this.. from The Ambassador. This track is called "Theology of Brokenness (interlude)" Click here to listen to it...
..A lot people blame a lot of things on Satan.
It's easy to deal with the reality of the fact that Satan is against you and all that stuff, and he's your problem. But there's a whole other category and issue to let sink into you, when it's not Satan who's your problem, but God who's your problem.
Listen, if you're going to walk in the implications of the gospel then you're going to have to be marrried to the principle of brokenness.
Brokenness is the mark of a person that is qualified to be used by God.
At the end of the day people that are actually being used by God in a crazy way- in an off the meter way, are people that have been cracked up, who have been lunged at by God, and God has done something to them. Broken can mean:
Shattered,
Crushed,
Maimed,
Devoid of arrogance,
Wounded,
Contrite,
Injured,
Smashed,
Grieved,
Anxious,
Distressed,
Crippled,
Wrecked,
Demolished,
Fractured,
Handicapped,
Disabled.
Brokenness, based on the scriptures: The spiritual state by which one is disarmed of one's self-dependence and pride, therefore leaving one disabled and in desperate need of help, thereby making one a viable conduit for the glory of Christ.
We're not massochists, but we do kinda have a theology of brokenness.
..A lot people blame a lot of things on Satan.
It's easy to deal with the reality of the fact that Satan is against you and all that stuff, and he's your problem. But there's a whole other category and issue to let sink into you, when it's not Satan who's your problem, but God who's your problem.
Listen, if you're going to walk in the implications of the gospel then you're going to have to be marrried to the principle of brokenness.
Brokenness is the mark of a person that is qualified to be used by God.
At the end of the day people that are actually being used by God in a crazy way- in an off the meter way, are people that have been cracked up, who have been lunged at by God, and God has done something to them. Broken can mean:
Shattered,
Crushed,
Maimed,
Devoid of arrogance,
Wounded,
Contrite,
Injured,
Smashed,
Grieved,
Anxious,
Distressed,
Crippled,
Wrecked,
Demolished,
Fractured,
Handicapped,
Disabled.
Brokenness, based on the scriptures: The spiritual state by which one is disarmed of one's self-dependence and pride, therefore leaving one disabled and in desperate need of help, thereby making one a viable conduit for the glory of Christ.
We're not massochists, but we do kinda have a theology of brokenness.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Guest Post #3
When Will It Be Too Late? by: Amy Sanchez
The distant echo of the thunder and the rain,
All this pressure just creates an immortal stain,
Penetrating deep into the fabric of our time,
Creating a tear in this selfish world I once called mine,
Never fully releasing the warrior He buried within,
Regretfully giving up this great battle we are supposed to win.
We fight with rubber gloves and tin hats so shiny we fashion,Giving up, giving in, and sacrificing precious souls without ration,
Who’s world is this? Does it belong to man and flesh?
Within the deep rot and stench of sin, many would look and exclaim yes,
Where is our sword, our shield, our precious saintly strength?
Where is the trust in the power we cry for and preach about at great length?
So lonely is our world filled with people left and right,
Just closed in this cold place never knowing day from night,
But here we are, the warriors, sitting and twiddling our thumbs,
Ignoring the blood thirsty battle and the cry of the wars carnal drums,
Step out! Finally, reach out and stop worrying about your clean hands,
They wont be clean for long when their souls lay slain as you stand.
Hear the warning- The enemy is near and bringing his best attempts,
He will try to steal their hearts away- push them farther away from redemption,
They are all asleep, dead alike with their eyes so tightly closed,
Never knowing the sweet touch of grace from the God who divinely rose,
For his names sake, we clamor to help them to awake.
Run fast, make haste, because in this battle Our God is calling your name.
Oh when, Lord when will it be too late?
The distant echo of the thunder and the rain,
All this pressure just creates an immortal stain,
Penetrating deep into the fabric of our time,
Creating a tear in this selfish world I once called mine,
Never fully releasing the warrior He buried within,
Regretfully giving up this great battle we are supposed to win.
We fight with rubber gloves and tin hats so shiny we fashion,Giving up, giving in, and sacrificing precious souls without ration,
Who’s world is this? Does it belong to man and flesh?
Within the deep rot and stench of sin, many would look and exclaim yes,
Where is our sword, our shield, our precious saintly strength?
Where is the trust in the power we cry for and preach about at great length?
So lonely is our world filled with people left and right,
Just closed in this cold place never knowing day from night,
But here we are, the warriors, sitting and twiddling our thumbs,
Ignoring the blood thirsty battle and the cry of the wars carnal drums,
Step out! Finally, reach out and stop worrying about your clean hands,
They wont be clean for long when their souls lay slain as you stand.
Hear the warning- The enemy is near and bringing his best attempts,
He will try to steal their hearts away- push them farther away from redemption,
They are all asleep, dead alike with their eyes so tightly closed,
Never knowing the sweet touch of grace from the God who divinely rose,
For his names sake, we clamor to help them to awake.
Run fast, make haste, because in this battle Our God is calling your name.
Oh when, Lord when will it be too late?
Guest Post #2
by: Jessica while in Wisconsin
"Because You are my help; I will rejoice in the shadow of Your wings" Palms 63:7
This verse popped out at me while reading a Beth Moore book and it got me thinking, this verse reminds me of a giant Oak tree, full of branches and life and under this tree there is a lot of space to lounge and rest. God is like that Oak tree, a giant shadow to take relief under when the rain and storm comes. And the beauty of it all, is that under this Tree, I can sing! A song brings joy and a light heart, singing, especially under a tree!, produces a sense of peace, a belief that no matter what storms comes my way, this Tree, this Shadow is my hope and my refuge.
"Because You are my help; I will rejoice in the shadow of Your wings" Palms 63:7
This verse popped out at me while reading a Beth Moore book and it got me thinking, this verse reminds me of a giant Oak tree, full of branches and life and under this tree there is a lot of space to lounge and rest. God is like that Oak tree, a giant shadow to take relief under when the rain and storm comes. And the beauty of it all, is that under this Tree, I can sing! A song brings joy and a light heart, singing, especially under a tree!, produces a sense of peace, a belief that no matter what storms comes my way, this Tree, this Shadow is my hope and my refuge.
Guest Post #1
"The House Exposed" 4/30/11 by: Gaby Giurgiu & Lizzy Husu
"We are all like houses. Each and everyone of us has their own house, and in each house there is a massive hole, a fracture in the foundation of its existence. This hole is dark, scary, and almost terrifyingly unbearable. So what does everyone do with this unexplainable hole deep in the foundation? We try to find anything we can that looks pretty, comfortable, and acceptable to cover that hole. We put layers of fine colored rugs, exotic lampshades, colorful art pieces, comfortable sofas, secure door knobs... that no one... no one could ever, ever discover the fracture. We go on with life thinking everything is good, secure, and comfortable. Sometimes we even will read a book or two that gives us a step or two to improve that fracture. To clean it up. Sometimes we may even listen to a show or two on our televisions that have it figured out. We invite guests over once in awhile, but we only like to fluff things up and cover any exposure to that hole. We want them to believe everything is alright, just as it needs to be-- in our control. We don't want anyone to discover our holes. We don't want anyone to expose it. We don't want anyone to question it. We simply want to hide and bury it under our pretty little things. The true question is who and what are we afraid of? What are we clinging to? What is holding up our masked up houses?...
Until one day there came a man known to be the only one that could mend the fracture.. fill the hole from it's darkness. As He began to knock on the wooden door, no one would answer, no one would come. But He did not stop knocking for He came with purpose and was diligent. He didn't just knock but He spoke softly and gently to the house, stirring it up to open. As the house began to see and hear the voice of the man, it decided to respond and open the door. He came in gently and uncovered the deep and dark hole underneath the thickened layers of rug. He exposed its terror with the light coming in from the door. He looked to the owner and said," I have already covered this, I am covering this, and I will cover this... Is that what you want?" So He began his task by exposing the fracture and filling it with Himself. It was sealed, secure, and completed. Now the owner looked at the man and said, "What am I to do next?" He looked gently in her eyes and said, " Cling to me always, always remembering what I have done for you today. No longer do you need to pretend, to cover up this hole, it has been covered up for you."
We are more alike than different, we are a people with the same problem offered the same solution.
Freedom
What is freedom in Christ?
While reading "The Reason for God" by Tim Keller a couple of quotes stood out to me that brought this post to life.
"There is a great deal of freedom in how absolutes are expressed & take form in a particular culture. For example, the Bible directs Christians to unite in acts of praise, but it doesn't prescribe the meter, rhythm, level of emotional expressiveness, or instrumentation-all this is left to be culturally expressed in a variety of ways. Christian diversity was built into the Christian faith in Acts 15. No one owns the Christian faith. Christianity has taken more culturally diverse forms than other faiths."
What does freedom in Christ mean? I think part of what this freedom means is cultural diversity, this freedom to know & communicate with God in your own style, to worship in your own unique way, to be creative, in short to be yourself.
It's not about a certain type or specific way of doing things. The principles are foundational, the way those principles are expressed are subject to take on different forms. Over & over in the new testament we see the focus is on the type of person you are, on how you treat your neighbor. We see that being emphasized in Colossians 3, Ephesians 4, Romans 12, Galatians 5. The Bible is all about how to relate to God & to each other. We don't relate to God by observing specific days, festivals, or traditions made by man. Stuff we have to do as Galatians 4:8-11 & Colossians 2:16-23 says. These things do not make us holier or better in front of God. The longer I live the more I am convinced it is not what we do, but why we do things that matters to God. And we humans cannot judge why someone does something, we can't judge the internal motivations.
God seems to be very concerned with why people do things, not with what they do, the heart of the matter, as Amos 5:21-24, Joel 2:12-13, Ezekiel 33:30-33, Ezekiel 14, & Jeremiah 2:32 says. God seems very ticked at people who only do things at face value, "who honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me" Isaiah 29:13. When I defend this position & say "God looks at the heart", many legalistic people respond & say "ya but what's on the inside shows on the outside." By the outside they mean a particular way they dress or style their hair or decorate their body. This just not the case, according to the Bible what's on the inside shows on the outside through your attitude, words, character not in the physical way you look.
While reading "The Reason for God" by Tim Keller a couple of quotes stood out to me that brought this post to life.
"There is a great deal of freedom in how absolutes are expressed & take form in a particular culture. For example, the Bible directs Christians to unite in acts of praise, but it doesn't prescribe the meter, rhythm, level of emotional expressiveness, or instrumentation-all this is left to be culturally expressed in a variety of ways. Christian diversity was built into the Christian faith in Acts 15. No one owns the Christian faith. Christianity has taken more culturally diverse forms than other faiths."
What does freedom in Christ mean? I think part of what this freedom means is cultural diversity, this freedom to know & communicate with God in your own style, to worship in your own unique way, to be creative, in short to be yourself.
It's not about a certain type or specific way of doing things. The principles are foundational, the way those principles are expressed are subject to take on different forms. Over & over in the new testament we see the focus is on the type of person you are, on how you treat your neighbor. We see that being emphasized in Colossians 3, Ephesians 4, Romans 12, Galatians 5. The Bible is all about how to relate to God & to each other. We don't relate to God by observing specific days, festivals, or traditions made by man. Stuff we have to do as Galatians 4:8-11 & Colossians 2:16-23 says. These things do not make us holier or better in front of God. The longer I live the more I am convinced it is not what we do, but why we do things that matters to God. And we humans cannot judge why someone does something, we can't judge the internal motivations.
God seems to be very concerned with why people do things, not with what they do, the heart of the matter, as Amos 5:21-24, Joel 2:12-13, Ezekiel 33:30-33, Ezekiel 14, & Jeremiah 2:32 says. God seems very ticked at people who only do things at face value, "who honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me" Isaiah 29:13. When I defend this position & say "God looks at the heart", many legalistic people respond & say "ya but what's on the inside shows on the outside." By the outside they mean a particular way they dress or style their hair or decorate their body. This just not the case, according to the Bible what's on the inside shows on the outside through your attitude, words, character not in the physical way you look.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
How God used a fortune cookie
June 24, 2011
"You will receive unexpected support over the next week" Monday's fortune cookie.
I asked the question on fb "Can God speak to me through a fortune cookie?" I had four fortune cookies that day, but this fortune was the first one I read & I felt that it was for me. Thursday it came true.
I got off early Thursday & so I went to the library until it closed. I was walking down the plaza, planning to get some dinner, anticipating another lonely night. As I was walking, a girl meet me & extended her hand & her name. She told me she believed God loved me very much & asked if I wanted a ride to church. She looked pretty harmless & I took her up on the offer. I told her my story, how I was lonely & kinda asking God for some people, told her about the bible study happening on that Wednesday but how that person never got back to me. She told me she was an intern at her church & was running errands for her mentor who was speaking that night.
Gaby, her mentor told her as she was praying to look for a girl & invite her to church. Bri said something in her heart compelled her to stop & rush over to talk to me. We both realize now it was God. I spent the night in church singing my heart out & being encouraged by the message. God used the message to remind me who I am. I am who God says I am, not who others wrongly judge me as, not who cultural or the devil says I am, who God says I am. This is what God says of me in 1 Peter 2:9
"I am a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation. God's own special person, that I may proclaim the praises of Him who called me out of darkness into His marvelous light"
God poured His grace upon me that night & reminded me that He hears me, I am not alone, I am His & He is very near. Nearer than I thought.
"You will receive unexpected support over the next week" Monday's fortune cookie.
I asked the question on fb "Can God speak to me through a fortune cookie?" I had four fortune cookies that day, but this fortune was the first one I read & I felt that it was for me. Thursday it came true.
I got off early Thursday & so I went to the library until it closed. I was walking down the plaza, planning to get some dinner, anticipating another lonely night. As I was walking, a girl meet me & extended her hand & her name. She told me she believed God loved me very much & asked if I wanted a ride to church. She looked pretty harmless & I took her up on the offer. I told her my story, how I was lonely & kinda asking God for some people, told her about the bible study happening on that Wednesday but how that person never got back to me. She told me she was an intern at her church & was running errands for her mentor who was speaking that night.
Gaby, her mentor told her as she was praying to look for a girl & invite her to church. Bri said something in her heart compelled her to stop & rush over to talk to me. We both realize now it was God. I spent the night in church singing my heart out & being encouraged by the message. God used the message to remind me who I am. I am who God says I am, not who others wrongly judge me as, not who cultural or the devil says I am, who God says I am. This is what God says of me in 1 Peter 2:9
"I am a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation. God's own special person, that I may proclaim the praises of Him who called me out of darkness into His marvelous light"
God poured His grace upon me that night & reminded me that He hears me, I am not alone, I am His & He is very near. Nearer than I thought.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
God's Will
June 15, 2011
"That you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom & spiritual understanding" Colossians 1:9
God has a will. His will will be done, there is no question about that. But the struggle is do we understand & have the knowledge that it's for His glorious power & His glorious power is good? Will we wait with joyful patience knowing that His will is good? Can we rejoice in His will? Can we thank God for His will? Can we see that His will is full of knowledge & wisdom & spiritual understanding?
June 16, 2011
Speaking of wisdom...
"In wisdom You have made them all" Psalm 104:24
"filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom" Colossians 1:9
I see that all of creation is so good. All the flowers, grass, hills, snails, clouds, air, beauty, variety. Creation is magnificent to behold, to take in. Creation is God's will & His will is wise. God knows how this world works, He made it & it is splendid. If I can see God's wise will in creation, can I not trust Him enough to run the little circumstances in my life? I don't decide the weather, the type of bird that flys past me, or the colors of the sunset for the day & yet, they all please me very much. Why should I decide what will happen when or why should I be disappointed when what I expect does not happen? Why can't God have His way in my life just as He does in creation? The truth is God does have His way in everyone's life, I guess the question is rather why can't I be delighted with whatever happens in my life just like I am delighted with whatever happens in creation?
"That you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom & spiritual understanding" Colossians 1:9
God has a will. His will will be done, there is no question about that. But the struggle is do we understand & have the knowledge that it's for His glorious power & His glorious power is good? Will we wait with joyful patience knowing that His will is good? Can we rejoice in His will? Can we thank God for His will? Can we see that His will is full of knowledge & wisdom & spiritual understanding?
June 16, 2011
Speaking of wisdom...
"In wisdom You have made them all" Psalm 104:24
"filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom" Colossians 1:9
I see that all of creation is so good. All the flowers, grass, hills, snails, clouds, air, beauty, variety. Creation is magnificent to behold, to take in. Creation is God's will & His will is wise. God knows how this world works, He made it & it is splendid. If I can see God's wise will in creation, can I not trust Him enough to run the little circumstances in my life? I don't decide the weather, the type of bird that flys past me, or the colors of the sunset for the day & yet, they all please me very much. Why should I decide what will happen when or why should I be disappointed when what I expect does not happen? Why can't God have His way in my life just as He does in creation? The truth is God does have His way in everyone's life, I guess the question is rather why can't I be delighted with whatever happens in my life just like I am delighted with whatever happens in creation?
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Joy in the Fellowship of God
Psalm 63
My Version
Lord life is a desert without You
I'll always be hungry & thirsty if I look for something other than You
Lord the place I truly long for is where You are
Knowing You is better than living
With my lips & hands I'll talk about You all day
You give me a feast for my soul
When I talk about You it will only be good things because I like You so much
I think about You all night
You've helped me
When You protect me I am so secure & happy
I follow after You & You bring me up next to You to hold Your hand
Those who are against me having nothing on me
Everyone who has God on their side will be joyful
Those who don't will not be able to make it.
My Version
Lord life is a desert without You
I'll always be hungry & thirsty if I look for something other than You
Lord the place I truly long for is where You are
Knowing You is better than living
With my lips & hands I'll talk about You all day
You give me a feast for my soul
When I talk about You it will only be good things because I like You so much
I think about You all night
You've helped me
When You protect me I am so secure & happy
I follow after You & You bring me up next to You to hold Your hand
Those who are against me having nothing on me
Everyone who has God on their side will be joyful
Those who don't will not be able to make it.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Fire
There was a point in my life where I was ready to be purified. I knew it was going to be hard. In fact the theme of 2009 was a year of purification; Lord, break my heart into surrender. I knew all the ugly stuff was going to come out & I was going to have to deal with a lot of bondage & sin that I was trying to cope with on my own. It was true, it happened & it wasn't pretty. During every sermon, every song, every book, every conversation I was very attentive to the topic of fire. I have so many quotes about fire & refinement that "I just so happen to stumble upon." What I didn't expect was what happened next.
Three months into the year I heard a sermon. When I heard "fire" my ears perked up. This sermon was the turning point for me. One of the lines of the sermon was "The fire that burned us is going to be the light that will guide us". And guide me where? To green pastures & still waters, to restoration, on the paths of righteousness. This light was going to lead me to healing. At that time, something changed, no longer was there this breaking, burning, painful purification, but I discovered what was on the other side of it: mercy & goodness all the days of my life. It was then that God spoke the balm of Gilead over me. Balm: a healing medicine, the warm anointing that pours out forgiveness & health. God was the one breaking me but what I was so surprised to see is that He was the one healing me. The fire that once burned me became the fire that brought me healing. That was good news indeed. God became to be as Henri Nouwen calls hims, the wounded healer. Such mercy & grace that I never knew. You see I know I deserved the fire, looking at myself I knew I was selfish, sinful, prideful & spoiled. God was disciplining me, but what was so amazing to feel was God's love.
So faithful blog reader, the God who is disciplining you will be the God who will comfort you.
May the One who purifies you, be to you also the One who heals you.
Three months into the year I heard a sermon. When I heard "fire" my ears perked up. This sermon was the turning point for me. One of the lines of the sermon was "The fire that burned us is going to be the light that will guide us". And guide me where? To green pastures & still waters, to restoration, on the paths of righteousness. This light was going to lead me to healing. At that time, something changed, no longer was there this breaking, burning, painful purification, but I discovered what was on the other side of it: mercy & goodness all the days of my life. It was then that God spoke the balm of Gilead over me. Balm: a healing medicine, the warm anointing that pours out forgiveness & health. God was the one breaking me but what I was so surprised to see is that He was the one healing me. The fire that once burned me became the fire that brought me healing. That was good news indeed. God became to be as Henri Nouwen calls hims, the wounded healer. Such mercy & grace that I never knew. You see I know I deserved the fire, looking at myself I knew I was selfish, sinful, prideful & spoiled. God was disciplining me, but what was so amazing to feel was God's love.
So faithful blog reader, the God who is disciplining you will be the God who will comfort you.
May the One who purifies you, be to you also the One who heals you.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
More than One Thought
I wanted to post these thoughts but they are too short to stand on their own, so here they are all in one.
The Intersection
"Blood & water. Bread & wine." Andrew Osenga
May 27, 2011
It is through Jesus that the spiritual & physical intersect. Jesus redeems the physical so that everything becomes spiritual. For the Christian, everything we do has an eternal weight in the spiritual realm.
On Reading the Minor Prophets
May 25, 2011
The Lord warns, explains, reasons, implores the ones who have betrayed, violated & ruined everything He has created for good.
These are the books of the prophets-the minor prophets are God's mercies.
God's delayed judgement is His mercy so we can repent & turn back to Him. He waits so He can be good.
God has every right to zap us all & destroy us at the first sign of rebellion, but He doesn't. The amazing thing is that He doesn't.
We're All in this Together
May 16, 2011
It's weird this life- we all wake up each day trying to figure out who we are & where we're going.
We're all on this journey of life & no one knows exactly where we're going or how to get "there," despite how confident & secure we seem.
The Intersection
"Blood & water. Bread & wine." Andrew Osenga
May 27, 2011
It is through Jesus that the spiritual & physical intersect. Jesus redeems the physical so that everything becomes spiritual. For the Christian, everything we do has an eternal weight in the spiritual realm.
On Reading the Minor Prophets
May 25, 2011
The Lord warns, explains, reasons, implores the ones who have betrayed, violated & ruined everything He has created for good.
These are the books of the prophets-the minor prophets are God's mercies.
God's delayed judgement is His mercy so we can repent & turn back to Him. He waits so He can be good.
God has every right to zap us all & destroy us at the first sign of rebellion, but He doesn't. The amazing thing is that He doesn't.
We're All in this Together
May 16, 2011
It's weird this life- we all wake up each day trying to figure out who we are & where we're going.
We're all on this journey of life & no one knows exactly where we're going or how to get "there," despite how confident & secure we seem.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The Lamb for All
Luke 2:22-24
Mary & Joseph couldn't afford a lamb to bring for an offering. They were too poor. But they were given the "lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world."
Mary & Joseph are a picture of you & me, too weak, too poor to offer God anything. We can't offer what we don't have. "All our righteouness is as filthy rags."
For this very reason God came down, for all the Mary's & Josephs (the Hebrew meanings of Mary & Joseph: may God give the increase despite bitterness & suffering) who are too poor to offer anything of worth to God.
When we couldn't do it- & there is not one who can- God did on our behalf. Oh lamb of God ... sweet lamb that brings redemption- that buys back what was forever lost.
Now nothing is ever lost, now I'm rich in Christ- because of Christ.
Mary & Joseph couldn't afford a lamb to bring for an offering. They were too poor. But they were given the "lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world."
Mary & Joseph are a picture of you & me, too weak, too poor to offer God anything. We can't offer what we don't have. "All our righteouness is as filthy rags."
For this very reason God came down, for all the Mary's & Josephs (the Hebrew meanings of Mary & Joseph: may God give the increase despite bitterness & suffering) who are too poor to offer anything of worth to God.
When we couldn't do it- & there is not one who can- God did on our behalf. Oh lamb of God ... sweet lamb that brings redemption- that buys back what was forever lost.
Now nothing is ever lost, now I'm rich in Christ- because of Christ.
Friday, May 27, 2011
On Being Romanian
While folding my brother's towels, I realized what the Romanian community has given me. The Romanian community with its' rules on: moving out, living with your family til your married, and growing up with people you've known since they were born, has taught me a lot on how to live in community. It has taught me to share, to help my brother, to give gifts to people who are starting a new season of life, to celebrate & invite people into my celebration, to want to have people around. To loiter just because.
Now, now I am the biggest advocate of finding fault in the Romanian community. You see this community is missing the gospel. It has the community but not the gospel. Because the gospel is what makes the community bigger, what helps us to see how creative, vast, & manifold God is. The gospel enables us to grow with people even though we haven't known them our whole lives. The gospel widens our horizon, becomes a "rock that keeps spreading" as joc sings, to see that we can help more than just our blood brother. Because everyone who is in Christ is our brother, and sister, and mother. The gospel teaches us to give gifts not out of obligation but out of love.
But this is not about all the faults in the Romanian community, it's about the good things. It's a good thing that it has given me a head start on living in community. And for that I can be greatful & rejoice in the fact that God used this community, this small people group, to give me a glimpse of His gospel community, to let me get used to it, to warm me up to the idea, to His big idea to what He wants to do in gospel community.
He's just broadened the idea of community in my heart, He's made it so much bigger than what I thought, then what the Romanian community has taught me. God is widening my horizon, our horizon to see that community is far reaching, more than we can see, with more culture, more diverse than anything we've ever seen or heard.
Maybe that is why God made me Romanian.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The Unsatisfied Soul
May 1, 2011
I have so much bitterness in my heart towards people who judge me, but who are people? Why do I base my worth through the eyes of fallen humanity? Why are not my eyes set on God? God, I have doubts, about myself, about what others think about me, I feel lost. Do I belong anywhere? But I’ve been looking down, my view has been on the earthly way of doing things, on mere humans, on myself. It’s time to look up. Time to see that the recognition & affirmation of man is a vain pursuit. It’s not about me, not about my background, family, my good works. It’s about God. It’s about Him getting the Glory. My only Hope is in You God. You are the point of life. Everything else is a vain pursuit, a waste and completely void of meaning. Ecclesiastes screams of the ache of the unsatisfied soul & nothing a man does can ever fill the void, the deep emptiness of the soul.
Ecclesiastes…
“Nor is his eye satisfied with riches” 4:8
“but his soul is not satisfied with goodness” 6:3
“adding one thing to the other to find out the reason which my soul still seeks but I cannot find” 7:28
But with God, with God..
“He who fears God will escape them all” 7:18
“Yet I surely know that it will be well with those who fear God” 8:12
“the righteous & the wise & their works are in the hand of God” 9:1
“but for him who is joined to all the living there is hope” 9:4
“fear God & keep His commands. For this is mans all” 12:4
When we awake to the glory that all of life should point to Him, life comes together. All the pieces make a huge bright arrow pointing up, pointing to who He is, to what He’s done, to what He’s doing. No matter how broken & crumpled things are. It’s for His Glory, all this dysfunction, all of this falleness is a backdrop for His Glory to shine. The entire world is for the display of God’s Glory-that’s the point. That’s the point of life- all of life is pointing to You Oh God!
That God gets the glory even in our despair, that He is at work here breaking our hearts, breaking us of our outward man. God is bringing us to the wilderness to show us “His love is better than life” psalm 63. To show us how empty we are, to show us desperation. The answer to the despair of Ecclesiastes is Psalm 63.
My soul shall be satisfied in Your love psalm 63
Lost & Found
God is able to recover what I've lost. And even give me more than I had before. It takes faith to view life this way. Like nothing is wasted, nothing is in vain, like even my failures God is able to sweep them up with his own hand & restore to me more than I've had or know. More than we could ask or think & imagine... Ephesians 3... Luke 15
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