Fire

There was a point in my life where I was ready to be purified. I knew it was going to be hard. In fact the theme of 2009 was a year of purification; Lord, break my heart into surrender. I knew all the ugly stuff was going to come out & I was going to have to deal with a lot of bondage & sin that I was trying to cope with on my own. It was true, it happened & it wasn't pretty. During every sermon, every song, every book, every conversation I was very attentive to the topic of fire. I have so many quotes about fire & refinement that "I just so happen to stumble upon." What I didn't expect was what happened next.

Three months into the year I heard a sermon. When I heard "fire" my ears perked up.  This sermon was the turning point for me.   One of the lines of the sermon was  "The fire that burned us is going to be the light that will guide us". And guide me where? To green pastures & still waters, to restoration, on the paths of righteousness. This light was going to lead me to healing. At that time, something changed, no longer was there this breaking, burning, painful purification, but I discovered what was on the other side of it: mercy & goodness all the days of my life. It was then that God spoke the balm of Gilead over me. Balm: a healing medicine, the warm anointing that pours out forgiveness & health. God was the one breaking me but what I was so surprised to see is that He was the one healing me. The fire that once burned me became the fire that brought me healing.  That was good news indeed. God became to be as Henri Nouwen calls hims, the wounded healer. Such mercy & grace that I never knew. You see I know I deserved the fire, looking at myself I knew I was selfish, sinful, prideful & spoiled. God was disciplining me, but what was so amazing to feel was God's love.

So faithful blog reader, the God who is disciplining you will be the God who will comfort you.
May the One who purifies you, be to you also the One who heals you.