Love in every language

January 23, 2012 

I've been having such a great time here in Thailand.  I'm frustrated that I can't speak the language & the attempts I've made to communicate  have failed.  Epically.  Ha! I've also done some dumb things culturally where I've felt like such an idiot & the natives have just laughed & laughed.  Oh well.  I guess it's okay to mess up, & maybe they find it endearing.  The song "Show You Love" by Jars of Clay comes to mind:

        I'm gonna show you a love in every language

        I'm gonna speak with the words that need no form

        I'm gonna give you what you never had before

But there are some things that are universal.  Smiles. Touch.  Laughter.  Everyone knows & needs these things.  They are what makes us human.  Love knows no language.  I don't understand what they are saying & they don't understand what I am saying, but it doesn't matter.  I am here.  They are here & it is enough just to be around each other.  We can be a present to someone with our presence alone, to paraphrase Jack Johnson.  Cheesy, yes. But true nonetheless.

I wanted to share a journal I wrote this past Sunday.

January 22, 2012: Today at church in the village we sang "How Great Thou Art" in a bunch of different languages. English, Thai, Romanian, Portuguese, Finnish, German. "Every nation, every tongue." That is awesome to me to experience a glimpse of  the universal church.  God you are bigger than language.  Than culture.  You bring true culture, true community, true life.  You make us truly human.

Also, today I found out my cat died a couple days ago.  I found out on facebook.  I was in shock.  I wept.  I wept because I am the one who brought my cat home a couple years ago, while I was still in university.  I wept because he was part of the family & I wept because of the way I found out, no one told me, I had to find out through facebook through my sister's post; a crummy way to get bad news if you ask me. But if I could feel such remorse, such sadness over a cat, how much more does God feel for these people here.  For these orphan kids who don't have two parents to call their own.  This experience has given me a little inside into the heart of God.  It's weird how God is teaching me lessons these days. 

And as promised, here is a journal from the heart of God to me, and to you too.

December 14, 2011 "You have the freedom to be a child."

December 18, 2011 "Child, child, don't do anything.  Let good come to you.  All good things come from my hand.  You can't rush these things. It's coming. It's on the horizon. Soon. Soon.  You will hear a symphony.  You will see my hand orchestrating it.  You will watch as it all happens.  Like a play.  Watch as my artist's hand comes to make a masterpiece.  I set the lonely in families.  I will make a family for you, where you are my children & I'm your Father.  Trust my rhythm. I know this. I'm good at this.  I will make love & faithfulness meet together, I will make righteousness & peace kiss each other. I will gather all my children.  I am preparing a place for you.  You will indeed see for yourself all the goodness I have stored up for you.  Don't lose heart, don't give in, I have so much for you.  But believe in me.  Believe I can do it.  Believe I am good.  Believe I am not holding out.  I am preparing all things, making all things right & beautiful! Oh how great is my goodness which I have laid up for you my girl because you fear me & revere & worship me.  I have goodness which I have wrought, formed & fashioned for you because you trust & take refuge in me. psalm 31:19. My girl I got this! I have a plan. You just relax.  I know what I am doing.  You can put all your hope in me." 

What it's like here...

January 9, 2012

 I've spent 3 weeks in Malaysia & now I'm Thailand for the next 7 weeks. That is nuts!

I haven't posted a blog since Thanksgiving.  Wow.  But I have written in my journal, nearly everyday.  And God has been speaking me.  One of the things I've learned while being at ywam is how much God wants to speak to me. So I've been practicing hearing His voice.  And usually it's me just writing out my prayers, usually complaining & then His response to my complaints.  And it's always good. 

Before I write about that, I want to clarify something.  This whole trip has not been roses & sunflowers. "To touch the rose unfearful is to meet the thorn" as Jars of Clay puts it & let me tell you it's been more thorny than I thought.  I have more trouble than I'd like to think, and the trouble is within my own heart.  I can't pretend or run away here.  I am stuck with a group of people & I have to face them & face myself .  Facing yourself is one big mess;  a  real beast of a thing.  I find within my own heart a selfish little girl. But God loves this selfish little girl.  And that to me, is one amazing thing. 

So to start off this new year, I'm going to share God's responses.  It's for me but it's for you too, & that is pretty sweet! I'm also going to throw in some random thoughts that I've come to discover about God as well.  

December 8, 2011: My daughter, do not worry, have no fear for I know you.  I know you dearly & I will not let  you go.  I will not answer your every request you have of me because I see the big picture.  I am looking ahead.  You can trust that I know all & there are some things you won't understand yet.  You cannot fathom my understanding, it's unsearchable.  You don't always get what you want, but I will give you better than what you want.  You don't even know what you want, I'll know for you.  Trust me daughter, I've got this.  I love you! I am for you.