What it's like here...

January 9, 2012

 I've spent 3 weeks in Malaysia & now I'm Thailand for the next 7 weeks. That is nuts!

I haven't posted a blog since Thanksgiving.  Wow.  But I have written in my journal, nearly everyday.  And God has been speaking me.  One of the things I've learned while being at ywam is how much God wants to speak to me. So I've been practicing hearing His voice.  And usually it's me just writing out my prayers, usually complaining & then His response to my complaints.  And it's always good. 

Before I write about that, I want to clarify something.  This whole trip has not been roses & sunflowers. "To touch the rose unfearful is to meet the thorn" as Jars of Clay puts it & let me tell you it's been more thorny than I thought.  I have more trouble than I'd like to think, and the trouble is within my own heart.  I can't pretend or run away here.  I am stuck with a group of people & I have to face them & face myself .  Facing yourself is one big mess;  a  real beast of a thing.  I find within my own heart a selfish little girl. But God loves this selfish little girl.  And that to me, is one amazing thing. 

So to start off this new year, I'm going to share God's responses.  It's for me but it's for you too, & that is pretty sweet! I'm also going to throw in some random thoughts that I've come to discover about God as well.  

December 8, 2011: My daughter, do not worry, have no fear for I know you.  I know you dearly & I will not let  you go.  I will not answer your every request you have of me because I see the big picture.  I am looking ahead.  You can trust that I know all & there are some things you won't understand yet.  You cannot fathom my understanding, it's unsearchable.  You don't always get what you want, but I will give you better than what you want.  You don't even know what you want, I'll know for you.  Trust me daughter, I've got this.  I love you! I am for you.