Here's a poem I wrote November 3, 2012
blinking lights & sinking
ships with no where to rest our heads at night
twisting tunnels & dark
intentions
no wonder we don't know where
our heart is.
Lonely only looking for
someone to own me
we have candy coated idols, convenient
little statues we keep in our back pockets
try to tell me but it doesn't add up, they're answers are not enough
catch a reflection of myself
in the mirror
do I even know who I am?
do I even know where my heart
is?
heartless, heartflips, heartsits alone empty
waiting to be filled
in a room by myself
empty chair
emty walls layed bare
can you tell me who I am?
can you tell me who I belong
to?
I want to be me, but the
struggle is that what I want is already trademarked by everyone else
what if the thing that sets
us apart is the fact that we're really all the same?
the same need rushing with the same speed full
force striving to fill the empty gap inside my chest
why is it that we all like Halloween?
do we like to dress like someone else &
pretend just for one second that our lives has significance
that we really are having fun
that life is really black and white instead of
a blend of monochromatic grays
it's either trick or treat, this or that, but
if only it were so easy
we are a blend of trick &
treats, good and bad and no matter how hard we try
how cute we dress we can't get rid of the
gnawing feeling that something is missing that when we ring the door bell what
we really want is to be invited in
given more than candy, more than a greeting
we all want that feeling
of a warm fire, of a hot cup
of chocolate waiting for us, with an embrace from someone who really knows us
because at the end of the day
we want the feeling that we are known & enjoyed apart from our costume
what if we were laid bare,
naked, exposed, even though we show it all, behind our tight clothes & low
cut shorts are the layers & layers of flannel that cover us more than
clothes
covers our hearts, our walls
go up, afraid to show the world who we really are
because the fact you show off
your body doesn't mean you have a naked soul
what if instead of dressing to
impress we expose our souls
what would it be like to really be known &
left without any weapons of our own
we would be vulnerable &
unashamed
it's just like adam to cover
up what we cannot explain cuz
searching through coat racks
& piles of shoes won't tell us who our soul is won't get rid of our need
& if we walked around barefoot like some children around the world would we
know that we all have the same needs
just fill it up with
different seeds, dig up the dirt water it, nurture it
hoping that in the end it
will produce a harvest of satisfaction but don't we know what will grow instead
is thorns and weeds, lack of green
cuz what we want is to be
full to the brim overflowing cups, but our cups flow up with stuff that we try
so hard to push down like sadness, and loss, grief and hurt, & even the
best dressed of us can't make it work
what if we gave that to the one who became unrobed
for us, who choose the cross to give us the gown of righteousness what if the
picture of the bride in white is really what we are we've been searching for
worth in the wrong eyes cause pintrest & instragram can't tell me who I
really am
& even all the ideas all
rolled into one will leave me feeling like a fall, autumn winter spring, summer
fall with our leaves withering & what if we are all like trees empty
branches waiting for death to come but when we surrender to it & finally
give in to it we realize hope is coming
a little bird perched singing
a melody, a melody that says who you are is not what you wear, who you are is
made in him who knew no sin, & we can be clean, and we can be known by the
one who made us, we were foreknown, planned ahead, planned by our parent to be
part of a life with no end, god send, Jesus came to live among us so thank you
father that you cover us clothes aren't good enough to cover us but jesus blood
can cover us
